The life of a Trainee Solicitor managing anxiety, stress, panic and grief

It’s March 2020, the start of the pandemic. Every morning, I would turn on the television, only to be met with a relentless stream of negative news. I would then virtually tune into a day full of law lectures and seminars which demanded my full attention and energy. I was mentally exhausted when I returned home (closed my laptop). This cycle of waking up, working, and finishing the day tired was repeated daily. As a result, I frequently found myself grappling with anxiety, stress, and panic. The weight of my responsibilities, the relentless pace of life and excessive screen time took a toll on my mental health.

This continued for three years until March 2023, when my father suddenly passed away. His death was a profound shock, and it forced me to confront the fragility of life. This realisation was a turning point for me. I understood that life is precious and that every moment should be cherished. I resolved to make the most of my time, to focus on what truly mattered, and to let go of the trivial concerns that had previously dominated my thoughts.

Shortly after my father’s passing, I began my career at Clyde & Co as a Pro Bono and Social Impact Coordinator. This role allowed me to channel my energy into meaningful work, helping others and positively impacting society. It was a way for me to honour my father’s memory and find positivity in life.

Fast-forward a year and a half, and I am now in the third seat of my Training Contract. Alongside my change of perspective, I now frequently use an app blocker during work hours to remain focused. Before and after work, I do my best not to engage in screen time, whether it be running, spending time with my boyfriend, friends and family, or cooking. I lastly take advantage of work’s UK benefits offering and engage in weekly therapy sessions.

Overall, I stopped focusing on what was out of my control and became focused on what was in my control: my boundaries, my thoughts and actions, and how I speak to myself. My father’s passing taught me the importance of resilience, gratitude, and the need to prioritise my mental health. 

I am now more mindful of how I spend my time and more committed to living a meaningful and fulfilling life.